You are my sweetest downfall*

I turned to face him. He had never slapped me that hard before.

I wasn't going to cry infront of him. I put my hair behind my ear. Then, calmly walked over to my briefcase and my keys. I picked them up and headed for the door. It was raining. I felt like the angels were expressing my suppressed emotion.

I turned my car on. My car. The one I had to work to get. I adjusted the seat and the mirror. I put my seatbelt on. I felt my hands go numb. I sat there looking down at my hands for a good ten minutes. I caught my reflection in the rear-view mirror. My cheek was red.

"One tear," I said to myself. And sure enough, down it rolled. I didnt want to wipe it. I wanted it to cool the very cheek, he decided to vandalize.

'Marry rich,' they said. 'Ydel3ich. You can have anything you want. Love comes after marriage, anyway.'

"Non of this would have happened, if my mother was alive," I said outloud. " She wouldn't have let me be so miserable. Lo kanet mawjooda.. Iste'3far allah."

I put the car in reverse and backed out of the driveway. Off to my sanctuary. My pride and joy. My years of hard work. The longer the hours, the better. Anything that delayed coming home.

I parked my car in my reserved parking space. Gathered my things and walked towards the entrance.

"Good Morning Ma'am," said the security guard.
"Good Morning," I replied with a half smile.

I waited for the elevator, staring at my cheek in the elevator door. The redness had faded. I reached the 12th floor and stepped out of the elevator. Only to be greeted by my co-worker, Nada with the biggest grin on her face.

"Ishfeech?"
"Ya 9abaaa7 il 5air. Ya 9abaa7 il werd," she said as she walked beside me.
" Wait.. Were you waiting for me by the elevators?"
"Ee, 3adi.. Ma 3indi Shi'3l. Oo ba3dain you're important, influencial, beautiful, young.."
I laughed in mockery.
She holds up a magazine to my face. '50 Most Important Women of the Middle East.'
"This doesn't mean anything. It's just a popularity contest."
"No. It's Forbes, which means it's fact. Listen to this, Fay Zayed took over her family business, after the passing of her late mother. She turned the business into a multi-national corporation. She is truly one of the most inspiring and influencial CEOs of our time."

" Make 50 copies of this and make sure the division heads get a copy by the end of the day." I instructed the secretary as I handed her the papers I worked on last night.
" Did you hear anything I said?" Asked Nada.
"Yes I did. Big deal."
She threw the magazine on the desk and threw her arms into the air in despair, as she walked out of the room.
I smiled.
"I have Europe on line 1."
"Put him through."
"Fernando. How are you?.."

Every couple hours I look at the watch and calculate how many hours were left. I wasn't excited about finishing and heading home, like the rest of the employees. I envied the look in their eyes after work. The "I can finally see my family now" look. I tried to remember what it was like. But, my current state interrupted my train of thought. Leaving me full of anger and hatred.

"..and by increasing our production factors by 10%, we can increase our output. Now, we're not looking to increase profit. But, we are looking for more market share.. I can see that most of you are tired and need to go home. So let's call it a day. Great work." I ended the meeting saying.

I see smiles all around.



I turned left and saw his car in the driveway. My heart dropped to my stomach. I turned to the passenger's seat, and saw Forbes magazine by my side. It gave me a small confidence boost. I drove up and parked.

I opened the front door slowly. Trying to locate him before he sees me.

"Yaitay?!" I froze.
"Ee, 7abeebi tawni wa9la," I said as I walked over to him, trying to play down my racing heart beat. I plant a kiss on his cheek.
He grabs my hair and stares at my face. I'm in pain. But, I wouldn't dare make a sound.
"Shiftay Forbes?" He asked.
"Ee," I whispered.
"Roo7ay bedlay 2il '3eda 3ind 2il walda 2il youm."
He ungrips my hair. I look down as I walk to our bedroom.

'Would this be a good time to tell him?' I thought to myself.


'No. If anything, he would probably hurt me and my unborn.'